Of Picnics and Fax Machines
by passionsanddevotions
Summary: Hamish makes a suggestion to Belle.


For temporalteatime who prompted: At the town festival, Hamish asks Belle to be his temporary assistant.

Note: This is set in the same universe as Of Westerns and New Faces. If anyone would like to see anything specific in this verse, let me know. I'd like to write more for it. :)

Word Count: 1,988

Rating: T

Hamish attended to the grill, flipping hamburgers as he, subtly of course, watched Belle make her way down the hill from the road to the flat area they were holding the town festival in. The wee lass was wearing heels, like she always was, and he was worried she might fall on the uneven ground. That was all. That was all it was _allowed_ to be anyways, since Alex had come back.

When Alex had proposed to him so abruptly, not even a month ago, Hamish had been caught completely off guard. He had just met the delicately beautiful new librarian who had been so warm and kind to him and who he had really thought he could have something with. Not even a week later the climbing accident had happened and Isobel had confessed her love for him. And directly after that, Alex had asked him to marry her.

Hamish had been largely on his own for most of his life, he couldn't remember having a relationship that lasted any longer than perhaps two months at the very most, and suddenly he had three women of interest in his life. At least two of them were interested in something long-term and neither of them was the one he would pick if he were free to. But he wasn't free to.

Before Bell had arrived in town, Hamish couldn't honestly remember a time when he hadn't wanted Alex. She had been his first crush when they were both young, but though they had been friends, she'd never asked him to be anything more.

She had been his first kiss and his first shag. But they'd never had a relationship, despite him asking for one. She didn't want to be tied to Lochdubh. His heart had ached for want of her when she'd left for London.

He'd moved on, or thought he had until she came back a few months ago to visit, with her agent, and he'd gotten childish out of jealousy. She'd visited again a few times after that and he had hoped, each time, that she might be home to stay, that they might be able to build themselves up together. But each time she had smiled and left again.

She had been gone for nearly three months with no word before Belle moved to town. He had made a conscious decision to leave her memory behind, to not fall in with whatever she was doing every time she came back. But then she'd come back again. It had actually been easy to hold to his decision for the first few days, especially with Belle occupying so many of his thoughts.

But then Isobel had made her declaration which had come as a complete shock to him. He loved Isobel deeply as a friend, but had never really thought of her as more. So his mind was already scrambled when Alex had asked him to marry her. He was still surprised by how quickly and emphatically his mind had said "NO!" before pulling up his memories of Belle.

But, in a decidedly rare occurrence, Hamish Macbeth had taken a good moment to think. And thinking of Belle wasn't fair. She may have been beautiful and kind and funny, but he barely knew her; it didn't matter that he somehow felt completed the moment he saw her. What mattered was that he'd known Alex for as long as he could remember. What mattered was that they got along. He had to put aside all the times she had left and remember that what was important was that she was back now. She was back home now and planning to stay because of him. So it couldn't be too late because that wasn't fair to her. She'd given up her life in London for him, and so he would give up the confusion of whatever his life was becoming for her.

He had refused the proposal, but he'd suggested dating instead, as a stepping stone that they had never gotten to and she had seemed just as happy with that plan. So now she visited him at the station at least three times a day for meals, and sometimes she stayed longer than a meal. He'd made his decision, now he had to live with it.

So it was wrong that he watched Belle so closely as she navigated the ground in her heels and pretty little sun dress; it was a darker blue than her eyes patterned with small bright pink flowers and it ended only halfway down her lovely thighs, and when she turned back to the road for a moment he could see the back was entirely made of black lace. He immediately turned away and mentally chastised himself.

At least once a day he had to remind himself that it wasn't fair to Alex for him to think of other women, to think of Belle. But he couldn't stop, and it was tearing at him. He couldn't stop wondering simple things: how her day was going, what her favourite books were, how she was liking the people of Lochdubh, what her favourite food was. And though he tried to keep his mind off of it, he thought of more intimate things as well: what she thought the perfect water temperature for a bath was, what colour her sheets were, what she wore to bed, what her soft skin would feel like under his hands, his mouth. These thoughts crossed his mind every night without fail, and every night he felt bad about it. But he never stopped thinking them.

As he watched Belle achieve the relative safety of flat ground he felt arms come around his waist and turned to find Alex. He smiled at her and hugged her to him as they talked, and he was ashamed that he did it mostly so there was less of a chance of her seeing his eyes follow Belle.

When Belle got pulled into a group with some of the young men of the town, Hamish set Alex aside and focussed his gaze on the grill, on the pretense of not burning anything. He didn't think Alex pick up on the real reason behind it, but to be honest he wasn't entirely sure that she didn't. But Belle didn't smile at him with her whole self anymore, she was always guarded around him now. And his chest burned every time he saw her glowing so brightly with other people. Especially when those other people happened to be not-bad-looking young men. Belle wasn't his to be jealous of, and yet he couldn't stop the emotion from boiling through him all too often.

He didn't manage to get himself entirely under control until he saw her move off to sit with Agnes and Esme, and even then he couldn't help glancing over at her every five minutes. Alex had returned to his arms and Isobel seemed to be enjoying whatever conversation she was having with the group of people she was sitting with.

As time wore on Agnes went back to Barney and Esme to Rory, Belle watched them go and to Hamish she seemed a bit envious, but that was probably just him. If he could convince himself that she wanted to be held by someone, maybe he wouldn't feel quite so bad for how very much he wanted to hold her to him and just . . . lose himself in her. He forced himself to snap out of those thoughts as she moved on to join Isobel's group.

Hamish spent the remainder of the festival talking and kissing with Alex, as well as trying to be as inconspicuous as possible while he watched Belle. When things started wrapping up, he sent Alex off, saying he was going to help with the clean up. She had smiled at him and left.

And then he'd gone in search of Belle, she too was helping to clear some of the glasses and plates together.

"So. How did'ye enjoy the festival?"

Belle smiled at him and it hurt that it wasn't as radiant as it had been the day he met her. "Oh! It was fantastic. Really lovely." she grinned up at him. "The burgers were great."

He chuckled and bowed. "Why thank you." He felt . . . light when he was talking to her. Comfortable in a way he'd never experienced before. Lately being around Alex was . . . heavy because he was always dragging around his guilt about his thoughts and feelings for Belle. And those thoughts and feelings were for reasons like this. Around her he felt so completely _free_ and _at ease_. He needed her. Needed her presence around him. Craved her in a way he had never needed anything before. "How's the library getting along? Are ye enjoyin' it?"

"Oh, yes! It's wonderful." She shrugged. "I am thinking of maybe trying to find something else to do, though. The library is great, but no one ever comes in during the day and I've got most everything sorted. I'll have everything straightened out by next week and then I'll have nothing to do all day." she chuckled. "I don't particularly like being idle."

He nodded slowly as an idea formed in his head. He really really shouldn't. It would only be inviting temptation and wickedness. But it would give him his fix of her every day, and it would give her something to do. It would sate his craving, but more importantly, he thought it would make her happy. And so he presented his idea.

"I think - I think I might be able to help ye wi' that. Ye see, John, John McIver, he's a great help ti me but, well he's only now learnin' how ti read. So it makes all the paperwork I've got ti deal with . . . hard. And I'm no good wi' computers. And you, ye seem to be good wi' them right enough. So I thought maybe, maybe ye might like to be my - my assistant, I suppose? It'd gi' ye somethin' ti di outside o' the library for the day." And it would give him a great deal of time to simply bask in her presence.

He couldn't stop his hands fiddling as he looked into her face, but she was smiling, even if her face did look a bit conflicted.

She nodded. "I'd, uh - I'd like that very much, Hamish. Paperwork for the police constable. Sounds exciting."

He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Aye, well, it's only Lochdubh. Dinnae gi yer hopes up for excitement."

She smiled. "It sounds good, though. I'd be happy to help, and to help John with his reading, if he'd like. I'll start in a week, if that works for you?"

"Aye." Hamish nodded enthusiastically.

He watched her go before nodding to the few people left and heading back to the police station. He wasn't going to tell Alex about this. Not unless she brought it up. He felt bad about that, but knew he wouldn't change his mind. He needed some way to be close to Belle and he wouldn't give this up without a fight. He didn't plan for anything to happen anyway. He ignored the small voice at the back of his mind that said knowing something would probably happen and going ahead with a plan anyways was basically equivalent to planning for something to happen.

As bad as he felt about it, he couldn't be displeased about the new situation. And as bad as he felt about it, he was immensely happy Alex wasn't staying the night with him - because she wasn't the one he needed. But that didn't mean he didn't need, and he didn't even try to keep his hands off of himself at the thought that Belle would soon be inhabiting his home for at least part of the day, everyday. He slept better that night than he had in weeks.


End file.
